Facing My Fears and The List

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I don’t know about you, but every time I think I may have put the finishing touches on my “list of things to do before whenever”, something else always catches my eye. I think my list consists of more destinations than anything. There’s this trend among some of my friends, where it seems like the lists are broken down by milestones. Like birthdays. 30 concerts before 30, 40 trips before 40 and so on. Seems pretty reasonable to me.The sky’s the limit, right?

Every time I think about my bucket list in its entirety, I start to get the feeling that I’ll run out of time because it’s so much stuff. Since my mom’s passing when I was 8, I’ve always felt this huge sense of urgency to do things (my family will tell you that I am the most impatient person you will ever meet). She was 37 when she received her cancer diagnosis and she passed 3 years later, which is far too soon. It took years of therapy for me to understand that I wasn’t destined for the same fate and that everything didn’t need to be so rushed. I was missing out on life.

Traveling has become sort of an outlet for me to channel that anxiety and fear. I haven’t completely rid myself of it, but its good to know that after all these years, I’ve finally found a way to cope with it that actually works. Solo travel was the catalyst. It was my first real risk I ever took, which was scary in itself, especially if you’re not used to doing anything alone. It taught me that I was stronger than I thought. I also grasped the concept of how time really does fly when you’re having fun doing things that are meaningful to you. You notice everything but the time and how much of it you have spent enjoying yourself. Most importantly, it taught me that you don’t need to be rich to travel. So I’m taking on my list one day at a time with realistic expectations. Of course, nothing is impossible, but then you don’t want to run yourself ragged planning for something that is supposed to be exhilarating.

What’s the one thing on your list (if you have one) you just have to do before your number’s up, or any other relevant milestone?

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